Saturday, September 28, 2013

What exactly makes a person your friend?

              The past two weekends I have been visiting with one of my awesome friends. Her name is Lacey and she is from Oregon, but has been in Columbia visiting family with her little boy. We had a great time catching up and having girls time! We enjoyed a girls night downtown for dinner and a few drinks (She's newly 21!). We also caught up and had some lunch today. After lunch I gave her a ride, and got to hangout and visit with her adorable, sweet little boy. We met a little over a year ago, but our friendship feels like we have been friends for a very long time. Sometimes I feel like we have known one another for years, and lived in the same city for forever.





Our friendship is one of those things that makes you wonder what exactly makes a friendship work? We haven't known each other long, and we live on opposite sides of the country yet we talk like we have been friends for years, and have hung out countless times. On the other end of the spectrum I have friends I have known for years, that I see a lot yet it seems like it is a struggle to keep in touch and stay close to one another. I find myself pondering exactly what keeps friends close, and why it is so much easier with some than it is with others. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I think that the friends you have in your life are there for a reason, weather it be to support you in a huge transition in your life, be a constant in your life forever, or just be a lesson only around for a short time. Like any person I would like to believe that my friends I have now will always be my friends, but over they years I have found that it's just not realistic.
              Some friends are friends of convenience, weather you realize it or not your friends with one another because you are both in the same place in life. You may not be exactly the same, but there is something to link the two of you. That link may be school, mutual friends, and or a common interest. As soon as one of your lives change or you move away that friendship fizzles. Neither person is entirely to blame for the deterioration of the friendship, its just that the friendship has ran its course. I had an amazing friend growing up when I was younger, she was literally my best friend. We were inseparable, we did everything! Unfortunately my family moved, before email, facebook, and video chat were around. The distance that was put between us made it all but impossible to stay friends. We were just too young too keep that friendship alive so far apart. I wonder often, if we stayed in the same town, if we would still be best friend or if we would have still drifted apart.
              Other friends are life long friends. Those friendships are just easy. It's hard to explain. The friendship regardless of how new, or seasoned it is just feels comfortable. It's the friendship you know that you can speak freely and it won't rustle feathers or cause an awkwardness in your friendship even if your opinions are different. It's a friendship built on respect, and obviously the enjoyment of one another's company no matter how different each of you are from the other.  These friendships are ones that form quickly, and easily with out a thought. It's those friendships that you find yourself wonder exactly how you guys got so close. Don't question them. They happen for a reason.
              Then I think there are those friends that I think are placed in your life to honestly open your eyes to the world. They seem like a good friendship, but eventually they crumble and teach you a lesson on life, and people in the process. Not everyone has the same needs, opinions and morals and unfortunately sometimes those differences can cause a friendship to crumble. No matter how hardly the friction is avoided, and buffered it is inevitable in this type of friendship. Unfortunately these friendships will most likely end roughly. Thankfully there is a silver lining to the ugliness, most of the time your eyes are opened to a new view. Through the anger, or hurt you are reminded how appreciative you are to the good friends you have, who will be there through it all. It's hard to swallow your loss, but know that it's for the best. A better friendship will most likely grow in the absence of the lost one.
               Basically what I am trying to say is not to expect your friendships to fall apart, but embrace them while they are there. Don't stress the deterioration or downfall of one, if it's meant to be it will mend, if not another friendship will form. Enjoy the positive influences you have in your life, enjoy the laughter and giggles, and be thankful of each friendship for what it is! Always remember everything happens for a reason, and everything will turn back around to a positive outcome.

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